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1 TV Channel
presents
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Film Company "CTB"
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Animation Studio "Melnitsa"
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Believe it or not,
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once there lived soldier Fedot,
and this is the tale of the daring fellow.
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He was neither handsome
nor a fright,
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neither wealthy nor hard up,
neither ragged nor dressed up
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Fedot's mission
was hunting and fishing.
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The Tsar had fish and game,
Fedot had thanks and that was his gain.
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One day Fedot was ordered
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to come to the court.
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Out of dread
Fedot turned wet,
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his ears started ringing,
his guts gave way,
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and here's the beginning of the tale,
so to say.
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THE TALE OF SOLDIER FEDOT,
THE DARING FELLOW.
Based on the tale by Leonid Filatov
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00:02:41,932 --> 00:02:43,977
TSAR
Mon - Fri
9 a.m. - 5 p.m.
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00:02:54,710 --> 00:02:59,284
The British envoy has come for
Our refreshment after night before,
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00:03:00,599 --> 00:03:03,396
While we only have to eat
Stale bread, a bone... and that's it!
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00:03:07,175 --> 00:03:11,184
You must go and bring some food,
Something special, something good,
20
00:03:11,945 --> 00:03:14,315
Say, a partridge, or a grouse
Or whatever, from the wood.
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00:03:15,478 --> 00:03:19,319
If you can't do that, my dear,
I shall have to execute you, hear?
22
00:03:20,307 --> 00:03:23,526
It's a matter of importance,
A state affair, is it clear?
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00:04:34,987 --> 00:04:39,657
What affliction! What a shame!
There isn't any trace of game.
24
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:45,200
Pr'haps that's the bird I have to shoot,
It's at least some kind of food!
25
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:51,836
They say pigeon meat is bad,
I should not agree with that,
26
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When you have it with a sauce
It's like a grouse, or not worse.
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00:04:55,943 --> 00:05:01,479
Please, don’t hurt me, dear Fedot,
It’s quite worthless, is it not?
28
00:05:02,245 --> 00:05:04,860
Just one bird is not enough
For a dish or pillow stuff.
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00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:08,650
Your foreigner might like to eat
Some kind of very special meat,
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00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,652
Whereas my meat’s just enough
To make a wild cat laugh.
31
00:05:13,295 --> 00:05:16,025
Is the goblin somewhere here?
Are these tricks of the evening air?
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00:05:16,459 --> 00:05:18,894
Is there anything the matter
With my eyes or with my ear?
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00:05:19,354 --> 00:05:22,398
Don't do wrong to me, Fedot,
Take me home, and you know what:
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00:05:23,027 --> 00:05:26,748
When you bring me to your chamber
I shall be your destined lot!
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00:05:27,469 --> 00:05:30,572
I shall sew and wash and cook,
Never give you a rebuke,
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00:05:32,246 --> 00:05:35,791
I shall keep the house clean,
And I'll play the violin!
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00:05:37,244 --> 00:05:41,219
What a story, what a gag!
All right, get into my bag,
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When we get home I'll find out
What this trick is all about!
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00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:22,633
Hello, Fedya, from now on
You and I will get along,
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00:06:23,143 --> 00:06:26,979
I'm Marusya, your good wife,
Or should I say, your better half.
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00:06:29,375 --> 00:06:32,783
Why are you silent? Have you got
A bone or something in your throat?
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00:06:33,857 --> 00:06:36,865
Maybe, you don't like my head-dress,
Or, maybe, you dislike my coat?
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00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:42,554
There is nothing I won't do
To admire you and be with you,
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00:06:44,223 --> 00:06:48,007
But I don't think that I can
Marry you and be your man.
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00:06:49,273 --> 00:06:52,508
See, this morning I was called
To the Tsar, and I was told
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00:06:53,311 --> 00:06:56,702
To get, you know’ a sort of a grouse
’nd bring it to the Royal house.
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00:06:57,422 --> 00:07:01,186
Though it's not a hunting season
With the Tsar it's hard to reason,
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00:07:01,791 --> 00:07:08,409
Then I thought, all right, a grouse
Is not a bison, so it's easy.
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00:07:09,493 --> 00:07:14,479
I have tramped the woods all day
But was out of luck today:
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00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:18,236
There was not a single game bird,
Nothing good came in my way.
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00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:21,878
So there isn't any chance
That I go out for a dance,
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00:07:22,684 --> 00:07:27,066
When I see the Tsar tomorrow
He'll chop of’my head at once.
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00:07:27,503 --> 00:07:31,305
Without my head.., well, I don't think
That I'm good for anything,
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00:07:31,748 --> 00:07:35,380
For it's my mind that makes the meaning
And the essence of my being!
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00:07:37,219 --> 00:07:41,568
Now, don't worry, don't complain!
You will have the meals and game.
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00:07:42,064 --> 00:07:47,612
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
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00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:52,347
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay.
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00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:56,664
You don't have to doubt us,
We have done it many times!
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00:08:34,008 --> 00:08:37,214
I am interested in
Your technology of seedin':
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00:08:38,383 --> 00:08:41,689
Do your farmers skin the swedes
When they plant them in the fields?
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00:08:43,452 --> 00:08:44,252
Yes.
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00:09:03,697 --> 00:09:07,534
I'm interested in
Your daily eating routine:
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00:09:08,584 --> 00:09:12,068
Do your people have their cocoa
With or without saccharine?
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00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:14,370
Yes.
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00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:58,427
Then there's another thing
That I'm interested in:
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00:09:58,927 --> 00:10:02,786
Do your women wear knickers,
Sort of underwear, I mean?
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00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:04,527
Yes.
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00:10:06,085 --> 00:10:09,635
Are you crazy? Shame on you!
Think whom you are talking to!
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00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:13,485
Women is the subject you
Turn all conversations to!
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00:10:14,485 --> 00:10:17,994
Will you shut up, be so kind.
If you don't, I'll jail you, mind!
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00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,839
It's not an idle talk, you see?
It's my foreign policy!
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00:10:22,647 --> 00:10:25,528
Look, she's quite a big lass
But she is as thin as a lath!
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00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:30,061
So I'm thinking, if we can
Marry her to this here man.
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00:10:30,946 --> 00:10:34,022
Not even I - not for your life! -
Would really want to be his wife,
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00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,881
All he has in mind is try
And swallow something on the sly!
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00:10:38,474 --> 00:10:42,456
"Yes" is all he is repeating,
While he never ceases eating,
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00:10:42,982 --> 00:10:46,187
Close your eyes, and he'll devour
Half of Russia, at one sitting!
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00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,883
Tell me, are there any ways
of marrying of our princess?
79
00:10:57,623 --> 00:11:00,957
Don't you know, there aren't many
Eligible men among her friends ?
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00:11:01,637 --> 00:11:04,902
If there were a legion around,
You could argue, there’s no doubt,
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00:11:05,245 --> 00:11:08,428
But there isn't, so we have to
Pick what there's to be found.
82
00:11:09,189 --> 00:11:13,036
You're Russian Tsar, it'll be fair
If you mind your own affair,
83
00:11:13,662 --> 00:11:17,246
How I live and whom I love
Are the matters of my care.
84
00:11:17,726 --> 00:11:20,437
Love is blind... If that is true,
You will love the envoy, too.
85
00:11:20,857 --> 00:11:23,414
And along with that you'll set
My worsened foreign trade straight!
86
00:11:24,174 --> 00:11:27,717
You may frown and complain,
Yet I'll say it to you again,
87
00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:31,082
As an individual I have
Rights for free marriage and free love.
88
00:11:33,869 --> 00:11:36,170
Maybe, I would give consent
And get married in the end,
89
00:11:36,895 --> 00:11:39,986
If it were Fedot the soldier
Who would offer me his hand.
90
00:11:40,943 --> 00:11:44,438
Silly girl, you hold your tongue!
Don't you know where you belong?
91
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:48,239
Go and lock up in your room,
Learn your sol-fa, get along!
92
00:12:59,876 --> 00:13:02,499
General, you're feeling blue.
Is it quinsy or the flu?
93
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,923
Or you've drunk too much of beer,
Or you've lost at cards, have you?
94
00:13:06,332 --> 00:13:08,661
Or your army is too small,
Or you do not want to serve at all,
95
00:13:09,348 --> 00:13:12,296
Or you've found some defects
In a cannon tube or cannon ball?
96
00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:18,650
Tell me openly, don't lie,
What is it that makes you sigh?
97
00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:21,953
I should like to know in detail
When and where and what and why!
98
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,279
Well, I went to see Fedot
The other day, and you know what:
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00:13:26,784 --> 00:13:30,390
When I saw his charming wife
I fell down on the spot.
100
00:13:31,293 --> 00:13:35,669
It's two days, upon my word,
That I haven't touched the sword,
101
00:13:36,312 --> 00:13:40,296
There's nothing left for me but sigh,
I'm afraid, I'm going to die.
102
00:13:40,568 --> 00:13:44,917
Yesterday, I will confess,
I made a sin: I wrote a verse,
103
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:49,805
The doc is scared for my brains,
It's a shock of love, he claims.
104
00:13:52,528 --> 00:13:55,754
The soldier must be gotten rid of.
Didn't he know that I'm a widow?
105
00:13:57,526 --> 00:14:00,390
I'll remind you of your duty:
Go and bring me now that beauty!
106
00:14:01,264 --> 00:14:04,534
As for this insidious man
Wipe him out, if you can,
107
00:14:05,172 --> 00:14:07,036
Grind him out so that he
Mightn't hang around here!
108
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:11,653
To kidnap her I've got wits,
But think of people in the streets,
109
00:14:12,173 --> 00:14:15,517
When they learn it's your idea
They will tear you to bits.
110
00:14:22,448 --> 00:14:25,303
Are you such a fool all days
Or is it just on Saturdays?
111
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:29,295
Must I tell my minister
Everything in every case?
112
00:14:29,747 --> 00:14:32,503
To prevent the vicious tongues
You must act on legal grounds,
113
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,699
Or, in other words, just try
And do it... on the sly!
114
00:16:57,247 --> 00:17:00,542
You are not yourself today,
Looking pale, struck with dismay.
115
00:17:00,843 --> 00:17:04,101
Are the Turks approaching Moscow,
Or the Swedes stand in your way?
116
00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:10,658
Have this aspen bark, a bit,
It will do you good indeed,
117
00:17:11,679 --> 00:17:15,535
After all, it isn't nitric,
It's a gift of nature, isn't it?
118
00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:20,201
The aspen juice, my General,
Has got a healthy mineral,
119
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:24,199
No General has died from it,
Just have a taste, and you'll be fit.
120
00:17:28,725 --> 00:17:34,322
Lay off, woman, I'm not ill,
Let us step across the hill,
121
00:17:34,844 --> 00:17:37,774
Scare away those hedgehogs, squirrels,
I must talk to you, it's serious!
122
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:45,880
There's a soldier, Fedot by name,
He thinks he's got too much brain,
123
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:51,227
I was told the other day
To put him out of the way.
124
00:17:51,916 --> 00:17:55,921
How? By cutting of his head?
There'll be a noise, I'm afraid.
125
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:59,636
Can you give me your advice
As to how to make him dead?
126
00:18:03,342 --> 00:18:07,578
Magic, magic, you know what,
Three are here, yours are not,
127
00:18:08,205 --> 00:18:12,756
Ace of diamonds, oaken coffin,
Tell me all about Fedot...
128
00:18:32,765 --> 00:18:38,708
Well, if he's so prompt and smart
As to dare disregard
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00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:45,941
Our sovereign, let him get,
By tomorrow, a golden carpet.
130
00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:50,197
It has got to have a grand
Map-like view of the whole land.
131
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:55,271
If he doesn't make so bold,
It will be his own fault.
132
00:19:02,406 --> 00:19:08,317
What a woman! What a skill!
That's the end of my ordeal!
133
00:19:08,965 --> 00:19:12,709
You could be a politician
And hold a minister's position!
134
00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:18,945
I can pay you back, I think,
Marten, beaver - anything!
135
00:19:19,713 --> 00:19:23,759
If you want, I'll give you coins,
Gold or silver - it's your choice.
136
00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:28,812
Keep us without sin this day,
Better put your coins away,
137
00:19:29,023 --> 00:19:33,129
I'm not doing it for money,
I enjoy it, so why pay?
138
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:36,867
Should you have some trouble again,
Come, don't treat me with disdain,
139
00:19:37,382 --> 00:19:42,599
After all, I'm not a beast,
I will always soothe your pain.
140
00:21:06,658 --> 00:21:10,586
By tomorrow you must get
A carpet of a spun gold thread,
141
00:21:12,012 --> 00:21:15,808
Try and do it for all you're worth,
It's a state affair, don't forget!
142
00:21:16,507 --> 00:21:22,070
It has got to have a grand
Map-like view of the whole land.
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00:21:23,279 --> 00:21:26,227
'cause from my balcony I see
Nothing. Do you understand?
144
00:21:29,517 --> 00:21:33,645
If you don't fulfil the task
And don't do as you are asked,
145
00:21:34,570 --> 00:21:39,494
I shall have to hand you in
To the butcher in the mornin'!
146
00:22:03,550 --> 00:22:07,202
Tell me, why are you so angry?
Why don't you eat, you must be hungry.
147
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,509
Is the porridge overdone?
Or the meat is underdone?
148
00:22:12,025 --> 00:22:15,720
Dash it! I don't feel like eating,
The Tsar's ferocity is killing!
149
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:20,541
The villain knows no justice, heck!
There's no keeping him in check!
150
00:22:20,885 --> 00:22:25,083
He has ordered me to get
A carpet with an ornament
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00:22:26,055 --> 00:22:29,282
Which must be as big as Russia
With the lakes and woods on it!
152
00:22:31,393 --> 00:22:35,109
Don't you worry, don't you sob!
Never mind the crazy snob!
153
00:22:35,965 --> 00:22:41,448
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
154
00:22:43,292 --> 00:22:46,119
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay!
155
00:22:46,622 --> 00:22:50,049
You don't have to doubt us,
We have done it many times!
156
00:22:53,310 --> 00:22:56,670
I was told to get a carpet,
As you see, I've really got it,
157
00:22:57,583 --> 00:23:00,835
Both the pattern and the colour
Are exactly as you wanted!
158
00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:02,655
Oh my!
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00:23:05,980 --> 00:23:08,965
The whole of Russia is depicted
On the carpet. You may keep it.
160
00:23:10,482 --> 00:23:13,964
It's my spouse's gift, brand new,
She has woven it for you!
161
00:23:17,703 --> 00:23:22,524
You're a dodger through and through!
How m'ny maids are you married to?
162
00:23:23,617 --> 00:23:26,892
You cannot be engaged to
An entire weaving mill, can you?
163
00:23:29,445 --> 00:23:32,225
I know you have a wife, Fedot,
She's the only one you've got,
164
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:36,372
And to weave a thing like this
One has got to have a lot!
165
00:23:37,512 --> 00:23:40,490
Is the carpet not so fine?
Or you don't like the design?
166
00:23:44,353 --> 00:23:46,461
Then I'll put it on my shoulder,
That's the end, I draw the line!
167
00:23:47,904 --> 00:23:51,312
Lest my efforts be in vain
I shall sell it to trades men,
168
00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:55,454
And I do not care a damn
If it flows to Amsterdam!
169
00:23:56,102 --> 00:24:01,777
I would be so glad to slash
You with a whip or with a lash,
170
00:24:02,284 --> 00:24:05,396
So that you might never again
Play your jokes on serious men!
171
00:24:09,305 --> 00:24:13,236
However, as a man I'm quiet,
And I'm fair, I'll give you right:
172
00:24:13,859 --> 00:24:17,457
Here's a coin for you, buy vodka.
Now get out of my sight!
173
00:24:43,139 --> 00:24:47,119
Well, my General, I imagine,
You have missed by a small margin,
174
00:24:48,061 --> 00:24:51,789
But this margin will make up
Five years of a prison camp!
175
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:56,224
You're broad in shoulders all right,
But you've grown dull in mind,
176
00:24:56,780 --> 00:25:00,227
There's a chance, at state expense,
To restore your mental health.
177
00:25:02,913 --> 00:25:05,704
You may jail me any day
For any term, but I should say,
178
00:25:06,097 --> 00:25:09,378
Prison as an object lesson
Will not help me anyway.
179
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,629
I would rather, sword in hand,
Fight for our dear land,
180
00:25:12,966 --> 00:25:16,065
As for these petty intrigues
Count me out of such things!
181
00:25:22,469 --> 00:25:25,277
Come, your honour, be a good chap,
Don't you get into a flap,
182
00:25:25,802 --> 00:25:28,529
Think about how Fedot
Can be laid down without a sword.
183
00:25:29,231 --> 00:25:31,972
If you fool about 'nd refuse,
Then don't look for an excuse;
184
00:25:32,561 --> 00:25:36,339
I shall wipe your mug, you swine,
With this very fist of mine!
185
00:26:56,091 --> 00:26:59,805
Why are you so glum again?
What's the reason, who's to blame?
186
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,681
Are the Spaniards too pugnacious?
Do the French lay any claim?
187
00:27:05,502 --> 00:27:10,392
Here's a mould drink I have made,
Take a gulp, don't be afraid.
188
00:27:11,093 --> 00:27:15,080
It will help you to forget
All the cares of life, I bet!
189
00:27:15,462 --> 00:27:19,633
Though it’s out of the way,
It will cool you anyway,
190
00:27:20,851 --> 00:27:25,779
You'll be healthy by tomorrow
If you do not die today!
191
00:27:26,908 --> 00:27:32,960
It's the soldier-man again,
He has caused me so much pain!
192
00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:36,912
That's the reason why I'm ailing,
And I'm suffering from strain.
193
00:27:37,745 --> 00:27:41,269
The bloody scoundrel's so clever!
He has fooled me! Well I never!
194
00:27:43,372 --> 00:27:48,923
All your magic was in vain,
He got the carpet all the same!
195
00:27:50,625 --> 00:27:56,648
Though he doesn't seem so bright,
He has got a keen mind!
196
00:27:56,854 --> 00:28:03,722
Next time, when you do your magic,
Try to do it damn right!
197
00:28:12,512 --> 00:28:15,893
Magic, magic, you know what,
Three are here, yours are not,
198
00:28:16,934 --> 00:28:24,477
Ace of diamonds, oaken coffin,
Tell me all about Fedot!...
199
00:28:35,321 --> 00:28:45,687
Ah-a, mm-mm... To my calls
I've got the following response:
200
00:28:46,551 --> 00:28:52,014
Let him search and find a deer
With the branch of golden horns.
201
00:28:53,777 --> 00:28:58,080
There's nowhere in the world
Such a deer, take my word!
202
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,205
I can tell you that for sure
As a naturalist, my lord!
203
00:29:53,954 --> 00:29:57,048
Shake of idleness! Today
You'll have to get under way,
204
00:29:57,567 --> 00:30:00,885
I'm in a desperate need of a deer,
It's a state mission, I must say.
205
00:30:03,378 --> 00:30:06,964
If you're a loyal man,
You will do the best you can,
206
00:30:07,677 --> 00:30:12,883
Go across the hills and swamps,
Find a deer with golden horns.
207
00:30:15,118 --> 00:30:18,730
Don't talk back, and do not scold,
Go and do as you are told,
208
00:30:19,455 --> 00:30:22,957
Or you'll get to know right off
How your head can be cut off!
209
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,499
Tell me, why are you looking blue?
Does anything worry you?
210
00:30:55,224 --> 00:30:58,454
Has the soup too little salt?
Has the beefsteak any fault?
211
00:31:00,144 --> 00:31:03,982
Dash! To eat I'm not willing,
It's the Tsar again. The villain!
212
00:31:04,581 --> 00:31:07,005
He will call me to account
For the task that he has given.
213
00:31:08,693 --> 00:31:12,204
He's s more ruthless than a foe!
He has ordered me to go
214
00:31:12,984 --> 00:31:16,434
And find a deer, and he wants
A deer with golden horns!
215
00:31:16,836 --> 00:31:21,440
There's no reason to be sad,
Things are not as bad as that.
216
00:31:21,988 --> 00:31:27,808
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
217
00:31:29,549 --> 00:31:32,288
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay!
218
00:31:32,796 --> 00:31:36,440
You don't have to doubt us,
We have done it many times!
219
00:32:07,682 --> 00:32:13,564
You've been waiting for it, right?
Well, I've got it, look outside!
220
00:32:14,034 --> 00:32:17,539
Did you order me a deer?
There you are! You can take pride!
221
00:32:18,307 --> 00:32:21,758
The deer's horns, for you to know,
Give out a brilliant sparkling glow,
222
00:32:22,660 --> 00:32:25,516
It's as bright as broad daylight,
So you'll need no lamp at night.
223
00:32:34,210 --> 00:32:38,083
No such deer can be found
In these places, nor around!
224
00:32:38,468 --> 00:32:43,271
There are three of them or so
In Baghdad, for all I know.
225
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,379
Now, you soldier, figure out
Where is Moscow and where's Baghdad,
226
00:32:48,097 --> 00:32:50,874
Could you possibly have travelled
To Baghdad in just one night?
227
00:32:53,783 --> 00:32:56,455
Damn! You're really being funny!
The deer isn't so fine, eh?
228
00:32:57,203 --> 00:32:59,828
Didn't you tell me yesterday
To get one for love or money?
229
00:33:00,980 --> 00:33:02,987
If you are as rich as that,
I'll return it to Baghdad.
230
00:33:03,655 --> 00:33:06,235
Who's the ruler there now?
The chap will really be glad!
231
00:33:07,112 --> 00:33:10,112
Lay off, Fedya, and don't fret,
Or you will lay down your head!
232
00:33:10,615 --> 00:33:13,629
I know what you're driving at,
I see through you, remember that!
233
00:33:15,841 --> 00:33:18,650
Anyhow, to save your face
I'll excuse you in this case,
234
00:33:19,543 --> 00:33:22,929
Here's a coin for you, buy vodka.
Now get out of this place!
235
00:33:37,623 --> 00:33:41,227
You have done your best, old chap,
Yet Fedot escaped the trap,
236
00:33:41,805 --> 00:33:44,422
Here's the official notice
of your death I have made up.
237
00:33:44,969 --> 00:33:47,358
First, however, I must think
How to kill you best, you pig,
238
00:33:48,010 --> 00:33:51,108
Shall I strangle you with a pillow,
Or just strike with a candlestick?
239
00:33:51,370 --> 00:33:55,136
I have come to grief, my lord,
You may hit me, here's the sword,
240
00:33:55,745 --> 00:33:59,361
I just want to tell you: don't
Bother me with this Fedot!
241
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,735
I'm a fool, but judge me not ,
I'm a man of a different sort,
242
00:34:03,308 --> 00:34:06,387
I would rather go to combat
Or take part in an assault.
243
00:34:07,307 --> 00:34:10,859
You are brave when sword in hand,
But you've got to understand,
244
00:34:11,530 --> 00:34:15,544
You must overcome the soldier
Using wisdom, and - unarmed!
245
00:34:16,009 --> 00:34:19,091
If you do all anyhow,
As you've done it up to now,
246
00:34:21,206 --> 00:34:24,719
I shall bring you to the scaffold,
Under axe, you scarecrow.
247
00:36:32,971 --> 00:36:38,279
You are suffering from nerves,
There's a pimple on your nose,
248
00:36:38,917 --> 00:36:44,535
It's the politics that tells
On your spirit and your health.
249
00:36:50,025 --> 00:36:54,096
Take this pill of rabbit's dung,
It's been really well done!
250
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:57,653
It's much healthier than honey
Though it doesn't taste so fine.
251
00:37:01,401 --> 00:37:06,995
And although it isn't sweet,
And some people die from it,
252
00:37:08,539 --> 00:37:11,457
Those who manage to survive
Live a long and healthy life!
253
00:37:12,282 --> 00:37:17,902
It's all rubbish what you say,
You had better find a way
254
00:37:18,732 --> 00:37:22,119
And tell me how the soldier-man
Can be put out of the way.
255
00:37:22,422 --> 00:37:26,015
Though you really tried hard
All your tricks have fallen flat!
256
00:37:26,707 --> 00:37:29,983
Don't pretend you're hard of hearing,
I just don't believe in that!
257
00:37:30,710 --> 00:37:34,459
You should pull your wits together,
Try and use your magic better,
258
00:37:37,011 --> 00:37:41,199
For we must admit: Fedot
Isn't so brainless as we thought!
259
00:37:41,861 --> 00:37:46,292
Generally, I'm sly and shrewd,
Or, should I say, I'm quite crooked,
260
00:37:47,828 --> 00:37:51,977
But today my luck is out,
I can't make my magic good!
261
00:37:52,777 --> 00:37:57,479
All these days I've been in pain,
Burning inside, all aflame,
262
00:37:58,016 --> 00:38:00,755
I've been suffering of late
From inflammation of the brain!
263
00:38:02,118 --> 00:38:06,306
Oh my back! I'm feeling stiff!
I think I need some relief!
264
00:38:06,890 --> 00:38:11,341
Therefore, such being the case,
Leave me alone, I'm on sick leave!
265
00:38:16,254 --> 00:38:21,465
You are ill. Well, never min'
Eat a frog, and you'll be fine.
266
00:38:22,468 --> 00:38:27,747
Mother nature, as I heard,
's the best healer in the world!
267
00:38:28,417 --> 00:38:31,620
You don't even think about
Cheating me an' fooling around!
268
00:38:32,376 --> 00:38:36,997
You are wicked, so don't shirk,
Turn your wickedness to work!
269
00:38:38,216 --> 00:38:41,426
If you don't do as you're told
I shall draw out my sword!
270
00:38:41,968 --> 00:38:44,910
Though you're a friend of mine
I shall make you toe the line!
271
00:38:58,347 --> 00:39:02,680
Magic, magic, tell me what,
Three are here, yours are not,
272
00:39:03,593 --> 00:39:09,675
Ace of diamonds, oaken coffin,
Tell me all about Fedot!..
273
00:39:19,386 --> 00:39:25,029
Let the soldier show his skill,
Let him get something unreal,
274
00:39:25,844 --> 00:39:31,007
Something That Cannot Be Found,
In This World, Nor Underground!
275
00:39:31,790 --> 00:39:35,834
Now, Fedot, you're in for it!
The idea is just brilliant!
276
00:39:39,550 --> 00:39:42,977
You will never carry out
Such a task! On no account!
277
00:40:01,245 --> 00:40:06,258
Do your utmost and get me
Something That Cannot Be!
278
00:40:06,996 --> 00:40:09,891
Write it down for it might
Somehow get out of your mind!
279
00:40:11,093 --> 00:40:14,474
I shall tell you my condition:
If you don't fulfil the mission,
280
00:40:17,037 --> 00:40:21,021
I shall tear you to ribbons
For I hate your disposition!
281
00:40:21,527 --> 00:40:24,303
Cheer up, get under way!
You must do it without delay ,
282
00:40:24,312 --> 00:40:27,844
It's a matter of state importance,
D’ you understand what I say?
283
00:42:30,863 --> 00:42:36,660
Will you get it of your chest?
Tell me, why are you depressed?
284
00:42:37,112 --> 00:42:39,698
Has the salad a la Milan got
No truffles in it, or what?
285
00:42:40,824 --> 00:42:45,118
No, Marie, I love your food,
It's extraordinarily good!
286
00:42:46,593 --> 00:42:50,310
I'm just worried that my life
Has been ruined to the root!
287
00:42:50,740 --> 00:42:55,459
What am I supposed to do?
Who can help me, maybe you?
288
00:42:56,205 --> 00:43:00,592
This time the Tsar ordered me
To get Something That Can't Be!
289
00:43:01,630 --> 00:43:07,159
There's no use to worry at all,
All I have to do is call:
290
00:43:07,952 --> 00:43:13,058
Stand before me, Frol and Tit,
Get immediately what we need!
291
00:43:14,982 --> 00:43:17,821
Do you hear what I say?
Go and do it without delay!
292
00:43:20,234 --> 00:43:23,829
Sorry, mistress, we resign
For it's out of our line.
293
00:43:24,700 --> 00:43:28,263
If we had a sketch or drawing,
We could work it out fine!
294
00:43:29,072 --> 00:43:32,899
There's no use to search like this,
We won't venture, don't insist,
295
00:43:33,785 --> 00:43:36,955
Where is it, something unreal ,
Something that does not exist?
296
00:43:38,122 --> 00:43:41,108
There's no use to scout around
For the thing that can't be found!
297
00:43:44,392 --> 00:43:47,499
Darling, don't be hard on me,
I can't help it, as you see,
298
00:43:48,144 --> 00:43:51,073
Nothing doing, you will have
To search for it yourself, my love!
299
00:44:01,181 --> 00:44:04,665
When abroad don't make a sin,
Keep your mind and body clean,
300
00:44:05,603 --> 00:44:09,015
Do not enter conversations,
And don't strike up an acquaintance!
301
00:44:09,831 --> 00:44:12,510
Take care, dear, don't go astray,
Keep from empty troubles away,
302
00:44:13,072 --> 00:44:16,625
Eat sour cream and cottage cheese.
Think about your health, that is.
303
00:44:34,130 --> 00:44:37,802
You don't need to have a fright,
Everything will be all right,
304
00:44:38,449 --> 00:44:42,289
I shall carry the task out
And return home safe and sound!
305
00:44:42,730 --> 00:44:45,585
Don't lose heart while I'm away,
Water flowers every day,
306
00:44:47,753 --> 00:44:51,615
There's a tambour, a balalaika,
You can do the needlework or play.
307
00:44:52,524 --> 00:44:55,067
Should somebody bother you,
You know well what you can do,
308
00:44:55,700 --> 00:44:58,471
I don't have to teach you, dear,
The frying pan is over here!
309
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:32,309
Tell me good or bad news,
It must be the bare truth,
310
00:45:32,892 --> 00:45:36,223
Which I know is never nice,
Yet it's better than sweet lies!
311
00:45:36,905 --> 00:45:39,996
However, if the news you've got
Is something like I don't know what,
312
00:45:40,673 --> 00:45:43,987
I can tell you, you'll be jailed
For ten years, you mark my word!
313
00:45:44,820 --> 00:45:49,133
Your majesty, let me report:
At break of day Soldier Fedot
314
00:45:49,761 --> 00:45:53,333
Set of on a mission voyage,
We've got rid of him, thank God!
315
00:45:53,856 --> 00:45:56,609
May the scoundrel rove the seas,
A good lesson to him it is!
316
00:45:56,953 --> 00:46:00,419
You and I are now secure
From seeing his ugly face, for sure!
317
00:46:08,635 --> 00:46:13,302
Nurse, hey, Nurse, will you come here?
There's some work for you, my dear,
318
00:46:20,005 --> 00:46:22,596
I've got hairs that are grey,
Will you tear them away?
319
00:46:23,545 --> 00:46:26,573
As for those that aren't grey
Shape them in a proper way,
320
00:46:28,445 --> 00:46:30,879
Take it easy with the brush,
I've got hair there, not hay!
321
00:46:31,716 --> 00:46:35,543
What's there to brush, you dry old stick?
Your hair is not that thick ,
322
00:46:36,175 --> 00:46:39,429
Every hair that you have
Must be registered, I think!
323
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:44,227
Tell me, why d'you need a wife
Now that you have lived your life?
324
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:49,673
I can tell you: as a man,
Sorry... you aren't worth a damn!
325
00:46:52,123 --> 00:46:54,711
Well, although my hair is grey,
I must marry anyway.
326
00:46:56,100 --> 00:46:59,631
The shah of Persia's just as bold,
He's got forty wives, they say!
327
00:47:00,121 --> 00:47:02,588
As for me I want a wife,
Only one, not three or five.
328
00:47:03,598 --> 00:47:06,441
Do you think I cannot make it,
In the sense of intimate life?
329
00:47:08,154 --> 00:47:11,967
The shah has obviously got
Might and strength while you have not!
330
00:47:12,348 --> 00:47:15,147
You're so small, you gnat, that one
Cannot see you under the crown!
331
00:47:15,805 --> 00:47:20,252
At your age you're not so strong
As you were when you were young.
332
00:47:20,627 --> 00:47:23,909
Think about your health, you're over
A hundred , if I'm not wrong.
333
00:47:24,164 --> 00:47:27,887
I'm over a hundred, well, so what?
I feel young, my blood is hot!
334
00:47:29,025 --> 00:47:32,960
After all, it is well known
That all ages are love-prone!
335
00:47:33,598 --> 00:47:37,143
So whatever you might think,
I'm fit for such a thing,
336
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:41,090
I'm liable to love
Like any other human being!
337
00:47:45,002 --> 00:47:48,189
You're one of those, my friend,
That do not have ill intent,
338
00:47:49,573 --> 00:47:53,041
That may give an awful fright,
Like a grass-snake, but don't bite!
339
00:47:58,850 --> 00:48:03,075
To kidnap somebody's wife
One has got to be in love,
340
00:48:03,563 --> 00:48:06,618
Whereas you must play it safe
Trying to escape the grave.
341
00:48:09,748 --> 00:48:12,431
Why are you silent, General,
Rattling your decoration metal?
342
00:48:13,188 --> 00:48:15,789
Don't you see the way the nurse
Lays the state under a curse?
343
00:48:16,546 --> 00:48:19,202
While the nurse is damning me
The minister sits silently,
344
00:48:21,452 --> 00:48:23,724
Your first care is defence,
So repel the enemy!
345
00:48:24,637 --> 00:48:27,893
Let her grumble, I don't mind,
Women never judge men right!
346
00:48:28,552 --> 00:48:32,654
As for you, you needn't doubt,
You're a lover of a perfect kind!
347
00:48:35,156 --> 00:48:40,564
Your profile inspires pride,
You're shah of Persia from behind!
348
00:48:40,892 --> 00:48:44,206
Move your crown up a little,
Just to make a better sight!
349
00:48:45,490 --> 00:48:48,952
Look, he's not an enemy,
He has told the truth to me,
350
00:48:49,504 --> 00:48:51,757
After all, he's not so stupid,
However foolish he may be!
351
00:48:52,725 --> 00:48:55,947
As for you, you only try
To make trouble and defy
352
00:48:56,504 --> 00:48:59,933
Your superiors. I wonder:
Are you not a foreign spy?
353
00:49:00,945 --> 00:49:03,607
If you tail on me, you rat,
I shall see about that!
354
00:49:05,265 --> 00:49:08,383
You just wait a day or two,
I shall have high words with you!
355
00:50:00,017 --> 00:50:03,099
I gave orders that Fedot
Should urgently go abroad,
356
00:50:04,022 --> 00:50:07,168
He is gone and lost for you,
I've got rid of him, in short!
357
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:11,236
To avoid a lonely life
Marry me and be my wife!
358
00:50:12,679 --> 00:50:15,626
Why not? I'm a man of note,
And I'm sensitive to love!
359
00:50:16,956 --> 00:50:20,123
No sooner had Fedot
Taken the road
360
00:50:20,567 --> 00:50:23,227
Than the ravens flew in
To his garden plot!
361
00:50:27,542 --> 00:50:30,522
Don't be silly, do as I say,
Take what I lay in your way!
362
00:50:31,330 --> 00:50:35,246
Widowed Tsars don't come to see you
In your house every day!
363
00:50:35,611 --> 00:50:37,987
Come along now! I insist!
I shall lead you to the priest.
364
00:50:39,428 --> 00:50:42,185
If you're dumbfounded with delight,
Sniff ammonia, you'll be all right!
365
00:50:42,697 --> 00:50:45,307
Your Majesty, you'd better chase,
Court and marry someone else,
366
00:50:46,380 --> 00:50:51,454
Me, I'll wait for my Fedot,
Watch the calendar, 'nd count the days.
367
00:50:53,309 --> 00:50:58,795
Don't believe in rumours, lass,
The soldier won't return, alas!
368
00:50:59,407 --> 00:51:03,024
He's somewhere in Beirut
Eating some sort of fruit!
369
00:51:03,374 --> 00:51:06,938
Just try to see it my way,
You're at home while he's away!
370
00:51:07,586 --> 00:51:10,790
He is gone and lost for ever,
Sure as fate, he's had his day!
371
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,633
You may beat me with a rod!
You may smash me with a sword!
372
00:51:15,154 --> 00:51:18,605
Yet I'll never be your wife!
Not even to save my life!
373
00:51:20,761 --> 00:51:23,757
Now, Marusya, don't make me cross!
Don't let's quarrel just for once!
374
00:51:24,223 --> 00:51:27,497
I should say, the other day
I got a guillotine from France!
375
00:51:28,221 --> 00:51:31,725
Thus I think you will agree:
You had better marry me,
376
00:51:32,582 --> 00:51:35,891
After all, I'm only human,
Not an iron man, you see?
377
00:51:36,470 --> 00:51:39,341
Leave the house, you wicked man,
And give up your crazy plan!
378
00:51:39,845 --> 00:51:42,811
If you don't get out now,
I shall help you, with a pan!
379
00:51:44,342 --> 00:51:47,418
Hey you, there in the doorway!
Come and chain her right away!
380
00:51:48,121 --> 00:51:51,418
Throwing pans at Tsars! What's that?
Is it a new trend today ?
381
00:51:52,118 --> 00:51:56,185
You'll have to sweat like a bull
To catch hold of me, you fool,
382
00:51:57,255 --> 00:52:01,039
Farewell, old man, you may,
See me around again some day!
383
00:52:38,875 --> 00:52:40,831
London
384
00:54:39,392 --> 00:54:42,136
Marusya!..
385
00:54:44,063 --> 00:54:48,972
Why do the birches in Russia
rustle noisily so?
386
00:54:50,240 --> 00:54:55,555
Why do these white-trunk trees
understand it all?
387
00:54:57,282 --> 00:55:00,112
Leaning against the roads,..
388
00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:23,431
To indulge the Tsar's caprice
I've been often overseas,
389
00:55:24,294 --> 00:55:27,869
Frankly speaking, I have never
Seen a place as bad as this!
390
00:55:27,870 --> 00:55:30,000
The Buyan Island
391
00:55:30,421 --> 00:55:32,996
Though it wouldn't be so bad
If there were food to be had,
392
00:55:33,907 --> 00:55:36,768
If I had at least goose-foot,
I would be content with that !
393
00:55:37,587 --> 00:55:40,858
If somebody wants to eat,
Welcome here, take a seat:
394
00:55:41,945 --> 00:55:45,168
I've got heaps of foodstuff here,
There's a whole lot of it!
395
00:55:45,826 --> 00:55:48,865
Here's, for instance, a bread loaf,
Have a taste, it's straight from stove!
396
00:55:49,364 --> 00:55:52,624
Here's turkey from the pot!
Here's cherry-plum compote,
397
00:55:53,195 --> 00:55:56,748
Here's sausage, here's cheese,
Here's caviar, if you please,
398
00:55:57,307 --> 00:56:00,142
Here is sturgeon from the Don,
Here are Caribbean shrimps...
399
00:56:02,270 --> 00:56:06,428
What sort of miracles are these?
I want to know whose voice it is!
400
00:56:07,371 --> 00:56:10,218
There's no hiding place around,
Just the ocean - and no trees!
401
00:56:11,232 --> 00:56:14,406
Master, come into my view,
Show me what you're like, will you?
402
00:56:15,338 --> 00:56:18,832
For a guest to dine alone
Isn't a proper thing to do!
403
00:56:19,367 --> 00:56:23,829
Well, I would, but my appearance
Seems to be a bit mysterious,
404
00:56:24,214 --> 00:56:28,003
Sometimes I have a puzzling thought:
Do I really exist or not?
405
00:56:29,644 --> 00:56:33,692
I've got troubles, I can't help it,
I've got food but I can't eat!
406
00:56:35,225 --> 00:56:40,574
There's tobacco, I can't sniff it,
There's a bench but I can't sit.
407
00:56:42,098 --> 00:56:46,321
It has been a thousand years,
I'm sick and tired of all this!
408
00:56:46,651 --> 00:56:50,075
I can't hang myself, for heaven's sake
For I haven't got a neck!
409
00:56:51,260 --> 00:56:56,435
What an encounter! Oh Lord!
I have found you! My word!
410
00:56:57,357 --> 00:57:01,449
Something That Cannot Be Found,
Nowhere In The Whole World!
411
00:57:02,392 --> 00:57:05,906
Why should you get on like that,
Idling about, feeling bad?
412
00:57:06,358 --> 00:57:09,187
Maybe, you and I should better
Sail to the Russian Tsar together?
413
00:57:17,385 --> 00:57:21,371
Good afternoon! How are you? We are
Very glad to see you here.
414
00:57:22,894 --> 00:57:26,949
Very good! Salam aleikum!
Buenos sera! You are welcome!
415
00:57:28,381 --> 00:57:31,542
Where are you from? How old are you?
Are you married? Do you intend to?
416
00:57:33,161 --> 00:57:35,542
Would you like to tell our freulein,
Tete-a- tete, a word or two?
417
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:42,050
You're discussing policy
With a savage, can't you see?
418
00:57:42,733 --> 00:57:47,656
It's just three days since the envoy
Has come down the palm-tree!
419
00:57:49,115 --> 00:57:53,326
You're a spy, and it's a fact!
You're talking through your hat!
420
00:57:54,064 --> 00:57:56,939
You have damaged my relations
With all friendly foreign nations!
421
00:57:57,450 --> 00:58:00,534
I wait for visitors for years,
And they're turned out by the nurse!
422
00:58:01,357 --> 00:58:04,482
After all, I must find someone
Who would marry our princess!
423
00:58:05,163 --> 00:58:09,717
Look at his face, his ugly ears,
And the nose-ring that he wears!
424
00:58:10,207 --> 00:58:13,733
Look, his skin is speckled, too,
Like the egg of a cuckoo!
425
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:19,192
Frankly speaking, even I
Wouldn't sleep with him. Oh my!
426
00:58:19,772 --> 00:58:23,196
How can you give the girl in marriage
To such an ugly man, a savage!
427
00:58:23,968 --> 00:58:26,772
When there isn't any chance
One's content with what one has!
428
00:58:27,462 --> 00:58:30,618
With regards to looks the princess
Is far from being a bunch of sweetness!
429
00:58:32,409 --> 00:58:35,866
She's got to marry any man,
A hunchbacked or a speckled one
430
00:58:36,453 --> 00:58:39,409
Because even speckled ones
Do not come in flocks to us!
431
00:58:42,903 --> 00:58:46,948
You know he comes from wilderness!
Look what he's eating! My goodness!
432
00:58:47,845 --> 00:58:53,439
Remember that topaz vase?
He's devoured it! Bless my stars!
433
00:58:57,650 --> 00:59:02,533
For a "thank you" they will eat
Anything, even poisoned meat!
434
00:59:02,888 --> 00:59:05,806
The man may be quite innocent,
Yet we must keep an eye on it:
435
00:59:08,629 --> 00:59:13,553
When you offer him some eats
Tell him he must know the limits!
436
00:59:13,890 --> 00:59:16,848
For he may eat up his bride
In the heat of appetite!
437
00:59:29,730 --> 00:59:34,546
To go out with such a brute?
I should be damned, if I could!
438
00:59:35,623 --> 00:59:38,821
He is not much to look at
And a cannibal at that!
439
00:59:39,897 --> 00:59:42,773
Should the queer troglodyte
Take a fancy to your sight,
440
00:59:43,273 --> 00:59:45,364
He will surely lose for ever
His cannibal's appetite!
441
00:59:46,526 --> 00:59:50,445
Father, you may whine and groan,
But I’ll come into my own!
442
00:59:51,413 --> 00:59:54,537
I would rather give my life
Than become a cannibal’s wife!
443
00:59:55,216 --> 00:59:58,489
If it were my friend Fedot
Who’d propose to me, why not?
444
00:59:58,590 --> 01:00:03,425
I would give consent, you see,
He is just the man for me!
445
01:00:04,064 --> 01:00:07,071
Harping on the same old string
Isn’t there a better thing?
446
01:00:07,862 --> 01:00:09,981
This Fedot is all for you
Cares and grieves and everything
447
01:00:10,580 --> 01:00:14,332
Your Fedot appears to be
At the bottom of the sea,
448
01:00:15,455 --> 01:00:18,120
Or the ocean, for that matter,
So he needs no wife, you see?
449
01:00:20,425 --> 01:00:23,981
Well, if what you say is true,
I will give the devil his due,
450
01:00:23,995 --> 01:00:27,651
I’ll stop eating, as a protest,
To revenge myself on you.
451
01:00:28,508 --> 01:00:31,320
The caviar I used to eat,
As a rule, a pail of it,
452
01:00:31,521 --> 01:00:35,644
I’ll stop eating, and from hunger
I’ll fall ill and die, indeed!
453
01:00:47,555 --> 01:00:52,707
Here and there the same old scene
From ministers to kith and kin
454
01:00:53,647 --> 01:00:57,878
There are wreckers everywhere
Godless doubters, I mean.
455
01:01:27,340 --> 01:01:31,679
Come on, honey, be so good,
Lay the table, bring some food,
456
01:01:36,206 --> 01:01:40,940
Will you give me one of those
Nicely baked loaves of yours!
457
01:01:46,748 --> 01:01:50,372
Give me your delicious shchi,
Make it rich and thick for me,
458
01:01:57,217 --> 01:02:00,971
I've become as thin as a rod
Eating rabbit food abroad.
459
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:14,240
There is not a soul around ,
Just the wind, and not a sound ,
460
01:02:15,047 --> 01:02:18,324
Is there anything the matter?
I just cannot make it out!
461
01:02:20,003 --> 01:02:23,648
Welcome, honey, what went wrong?
You have travelled far too long,
462
01:02:24,133 --> 01:02:26,982
You must have forgotten me,
It's a year since you've been gone!
463
01:02:28,235 --> 01:02:31,791
Henriettes and Josephines,
I've seen plenty overseas,
464
01:02:32,025 --> 01:02:36,805
But I haven't seen a beauty
Such as you among those queens.
465
01:02:41,924 --> 01:02:44,975
I have travelled rather long
And I haven't gone wrong,
466
01:02:45,585 --> 01:02:48,899
I have found in the end
Something to the Tsar's content!
467
01:02:49,405 --> 01:02:52,767
Honey, had you known before
Whom you were sweating for,
468
01:02:53,754 --> 01:02:57,022
I can tell you, you'd have never
Ever stepped out of your door!
469
01:02:57,445 --> 01:03:01,596
When you left, the shameless man
Had a try to win my hand,
470
01:03:02,615 --> 01:03:06,159
Urging me to come to reason
And be his spouse by next season.
471
01:03:06,809 --> 01:03:11,524
Did he really? What a bastard!
How can such a man be trusted?
472
01:03:12,260 --> 01:03:16,185
How can I struggle for his honour
And be loyal to my master?
473
01:03:17,017 --> 01:03:21,033
Anyhow, I'll make him hot,
I shall tell him what is what!
474
01:03:22,344 --> 01:03:25,264
And I'll show what I can do:
Paint him all o'er black and blue!
475
01:03:26,426 --> 01:03:29,357
He wouldn't dare! The way he mocks
And makes fools of Russian folks!
476
01:03:30,169 --> 01:03:33,128
I'll take care of him somehow,
I've got nothing to lose now!
477
01:03:49,570 --> 01:03:53,221
There's... what is it?.. a crowd
of people on the palace grounds!
478
01:03:54,610 --> 01:03:57,932
So it's obvious: things are taking
A social turn, if I'm not mistaken!
479
01:04:00,882 --> 01:04:03,914
It's Fedot who is to blame,
He is playing a deep game,
480
01:04:04,425 --> 01:04:07,197
Setting people against you,
Urging them to stage a coup!
481
01:04:07,563 --> 01:04:10,238
What about you, my lord?
You've got such a sharp sword,
482
01:04:10,995 --> 01:04:13,959
Don't I keep you by my side
To protect my peace and quiet?
483
01:04:19,111 --> 01:04:21,923
Some day, when two Sundays meet,
You'll get a medal, I promise it.
484
01:04:24,712 --> 01:04:27,820
All you must do is prevent
The overthrow of my government!
485
01:04:30,881 --> 01:04:34,616
A lot I care for a medal!
I've got heaps of them already!
486
01:04:35,250 --> 01:04:38,346
When I have them all on me
I look like a Christmas tree!
487
01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:42,985
And I don't see any sense
To come out in your defence,
488
01:04:43,876 --> 01:04:47,199
You have made your own bed,
So you lie on it, my friend!
489
01:05:21,202 --> 01:05:24,891
What the hell, explain to me,
Does this all suppose to mean?
490
01:05:25,889 --> 01:05:28,486
We are not a France of a sort
Where people sow discord!
491
01:05:29,215 --> 01:05:31,456
Who is willing to Siberia?
One by one, come out here!
492
01:05:32,007 --> 01:05:35,538
Staying there in a prison
Will quickly bring you all to reason!
493
01:05:36,453 --> 01:05:39,291
As for reason, we are not blind,
We all have a lucid mind
494
01:05:40,110 --> 01:05:44,191
And distinguish, thanks to God,
Rubbish from forget-me-not!
495
01:05:45,507 --> 01:05:48,959
Tell me, why did you send me of
To a place no one knows of?
496
01:05:49,393 --> 01:05:52,785
Is it not because you wanted
To get married to my wife?
497
01:05:53,856 --> 01:05:57,119
How did this idea get
Into your goddamn villain's head?
498
01:05:57,848 --> 01:06:01,000
Throwing dirt at honest people
That's what I call what you said!
499
01:06:01,669 --> 01:06:04,610
Does it befit a man like me
To court your wife? How can it be?
500
01:06:05,786 --> 01:06:09,133
There's no use, as I can see,
To send you out across the sea!
501
01:06:10,159 --> 01:06:13,522
Now calm down, your majesty,
We're not here for a cup of tea,
502
01:06:14,223 --> 01:06:17,622
If you quarrel, you big bug,
I shall smash you in the mug!
503
01:06:18,536 --> 01:06:21,845
Your notorious malice spreads
As far as Che-re-po-vets!
504
01:06:22,580 --> 01:06:25,800
In my person, ill-intentioned,
You have spat upon the nation!
505
01:06:26,398 --> 01:06:30,083
Calm down, Fedya, don't be mean,
My people are my kith and kin,
506
01:06:31,045 --> 01:06:34,332
Without thinking of them, I should say,
I can't live a single day!
507
01:06:35,017 --> 01:06:38,369
When I eat my butter and bread
Thoughts of the people enter my head,
508
01:06:39,062 --> 01:06:42,515
Both the caviar and compote
Stick like crazy in my throat!
509
01:06:44,237 --> 01:06:47,545
It's the General's dirty tricks,
He engages in intrigues,
510
01:06:48,834 --> 01:06:50,892
And he's the only one to blame
For defaming my good name!
511
01:06:52,601 --> 01:06:56,638
No, no, brothers, it's not true!
I have lost my eye for you!
512
01:06:58,741 --> 01:07:02,261
You're my people, can I ever
Be against you? Well, I never!
513
01:07:02,847 --> 01:07:06,329
I acknowledge all my guilt
And the gravity of it,
514
01:07:06,857 --> 01:07:09,516
I should ask you, let me go
And fight in a current war.
515
01:07:10,763 --> 01:07:15,798
If there's no war, I'll accept
Prison, exile - all, except
516
01:07:16,432 --> 01:07:20,294
That I wish it were near
The Black Sea, in the Crimea!
517
01:07:21,277 --> 01:07:24,759
You should blame Yaga for this,
She's the worst of enemies,
518
01:07:25,195 --> 01:07:29,014
Even dragon Gorynytch
Cannot rival our witch!
519
01:07:31,318 --> 01:07:34,333
I'm a folklore element,
I have got a document!
520
01:07:34,740 --> 01:07:37,675
I can fly away from here
Any time, at any moment!
521
01:07:40,919 --> 01:07:44,833
Sorry, I have gone astray,
It just happened that way,
522
01:07:46,348 --> 01:07:50,119
Don't be strict to me, I'm only
A child of nature, so to say!
523
01:07:50,762 --> 01:07:54,482
If it comes to that, blame these
Two of my accomplices.
524
01:07:54,908 --> 01:07:58,334
Though I look an evil doer,
Compar'd wi' them, I'm pure!
525
01:08:01,030 --> 01:08:03,782
You're all so shrewd, you folk,
I'm in a state of shock!
526
01:08:04,732 --> 01:08:07,984
You blame one another while
Each of you is equally vile!
527
01:08:09,856 --> 01:08:12,463
Though we Russians feel contempt
For severe punishment,
528
01:08:13,163 --> 01:08:16,900
Yet I'll have to try you, friends,
For a criminal offence.
529
01:08:18,297 --> 01:08:22,634
We shall put you in a barrel,
Throw you in the sea to travel.
530
01:08:23,545 --> 01:08:26,848
It's not a travel first class,
So don't expect a ship from us.
531
01:08:27,650 --> 01:08:31,203
May the ocean take you round,
Get you to the Buyan Island,
532
01:08:32,117 --> 01:08:35,073
I will give you my accordion,
So that you might not grow wild.
533
01:08:36,655 --> 01:08:39,495
I'm sorry, I must say,
The accordion doesn't play,
534
01:08:40,211 --> 01:08:43,387
However, as a sign of culture,
You will need it anyway.
535
01:08:46,389 --> 01:08:49,657
As for poor wretched tsar,
Let him travel very far,
536
01:08:50,315 --> 01:08:53,638
I don’ care a wooden button
For his waning fighting star.
537
01:08:54,471 --> 01:08:57,948
God be praised, now, in the end,
He has taken punishment
538
01:08:58,949 --> 01:09:02,125
Now, without hesitation,
You can marry me my friend!
539
01:09:04,194 --> 01:09:08,131
I would gladly marry you,
I‘ve got a wife, I don’t need two,
540
01:09:08,532 --> 01:09:11,975
There many men around
Single men, and good ones, too.
541
01:09:11,999 --> 01:09:15,282
I’m neither Turk nor Greek
I’m married, and I’ll stick
542
01:09:15,700 --> 01:09:19,204
To my family; I’ll never
Change my wife for any chick!
543
01:09:21,428 --> 01:09:24,906
So you’re incapable at all
To help out the grieving girl
544
01:09:25,819 --> 01:09:29,475
But so far I am a princess
The tsar’s daughter after all!
545
01:09:35,500 --> 01:09:37,915
Now if you don’t take your chance
And get me what I want for once
546
01:09:38,684 --> 01:09:41,954
You will get out of here
Straight into the butcher’s hands!
547
01:09:42,551 --> 01:09:46,202
Come, come, princess, don’t be sad
Don’t pretend you are in bad!
548
01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:49,913
And if love has not come out
I apologize for that.
549
01:09:50,695 --> 01:09:53,488
I just cannot be in debt,
So I’ll do something instead,
550
01:09:54,055 --> 01:09:56,986
I will side with you in trouble,
Do the best I can, you bet!
551
01:09:57,737 --> 01:10:01,544
We will not shed tears for once
For it's time to eat and dance,
552
01:10:02,609 --> 01:10:05,583
Come out, stand in front of me,
Something That Cannot Be!
553
01:10:10,433 --> 01:10:13,340
It is a long time that I
Have been standing nearby ,
554
01:10:13,380 --> 01:10:17,018
Waiting for you to wind up,
Not daring to interrupt!
555
01:10:19,492 --> 01:10:23,259
Now, my fellow countrymen,
Keep your chins up if you can,
556
01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:26,301
After all, we are not here
For a funeral, are we?
557
01:10:26,809 --> 01:10:30,703
Bring us all that you can get,
Marmalade and chocolate
558
01:10:31,190 --> 01:10:34,039
Finnish bacon, sausage, ham,
Smoked meat from Amsterdam!
559
01:10:34,719 --> 01:10:37,335
Get that Swiss cheese wrapped in rolls,
I mean the one that's full of holes.
560
01:10:37,975 --> 01:10:41,264
Make for us a feast unheard of
And unseen within the walls!
561
01:10:42,087 --> 01:10:45,280
And if somebody wants a drink,
Home-brew, wine or anything,
562
01:10:45,903 --> 01:10:50,729
He may have a glass or two,
There's something to drink to!
563
01:10:51,539 --> 01:10:54,601
Sergei Bezrukov (Fedot)
Chulpan Khamatova (Marusya)
Victor Sukhorukov (Tsar)
Dmitry Dyuzhev (General)
564
01:10:54,800 --> 01:10:57,700
Alexander Revva (Old Witch)
Eugenia Dobrovolskaya (Nursemaid)
Mikhail Efremov (Something-That-Cannot-Be)
Irina Bezrukova (Princess)
565
01:10:57,740 --> 01:11:01,870
Director
Lyudmila Steblyanko
566
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:07,571
Translated from the Russian
by Alec Vagapov
567
01:11:08,072 --> 01:11:11,472
Subtitles by Boris Bulgakov
568
01:11:12,100 --> 01:11:12,940
Oh my!
569
01:13:29,066 --> 01:13:33,030
THANK YOU